Yes, I am the baby mama.
Without the drama.
I am the ex, the mom in a coparenting relationship.
I am not in competition with anyone except myself.
I can always be better.
I am comfortable in my own skin.
I know my shortcomings just as well as I know my strengths.
My goal in life is not to make your life a living hell or teaching my children to hate you.
Instead, I aim to be my best self, projecting that to my children.
I’m not perfect, nor do I pretend to be.
Being the mom does not mean that I am still in love with the father.
It also does not mean that I am petty, angry, bitter, lazy, narcissistic, weak or manipulative.
Sure, there are some moms like that but that’s not me.
I have a right to voice my opinion, to disagree with dad’s decisions and to set boundaries.
Speaking of boundaries, we should all have some in place for certain relationships.
Yes, you and I are in a relationship.
Even when we disagree, don’t get along, bad-mouth each other, we are in a relationship because you interact with the children I have with your now spouse/boyfriend.
If I am being respectful to you, please don’t overstep the boundaries.
When we disagree, let’s keep the focus on the children we both love and talk it out.
“Talking it out” does not mean that either of us are shouting and name-calling each other.
Yes, I know that you want to be involved. I ask that you respect me as the mom.
I even know that the only reason the father is involved at times is because you’re on the other end pushing him to be better, to do better.
There will be times, though, that us moms will need to talk and work directly with the father.When you see me, don't assume that I am like the other baby mamas that spend the child support money on themselves or who purposely keep the child from their dad. Click To Tweet
Yes, I have seen the baby mama memes and rants by stepmoms on Instagram and Facebook.
Let’s get some real help and stop using social media as therapy.
We all have some sort of baggage. Don’t judge me for working through my emotions as I watch another woman love on my kids.
It may be bad timing to force a relationship with me while I am working through these emotions. It doesn’t mean that we can never be friendly or best friends, it may just mean give it time.
Some of us are still carrying leftover baggage from the hurt of the relationship with our children’s father. Some of us have not addressed that pain and as a result, it can come out as an attack against you.
Many of us have moved on. We’re in relationships, we’re remarried, we’re single. Don’t lump us in with those who may attack other stepmoms or try to sabotage your relationship with our ex.
Many of us know we can’t be replaced but sometimes it takes time for our hearts to align with our head.
There are many of us who know that there are stepmoms who have their own baggage and it can come out as an attack against us.
We know that Cinderella’s stepmom did you a disservice and many stepmoms should not be lumped into that one category.
The point is this, moms and stepmoms come in many different flavors.
We all can do better.
The focus should always be the children, regardless if we love or hate each other.
This post is not to upset or anger any stepmom.
It’s to let stepmoms know that moms have a voice as well.